He Fought The Law, And The Law Won


eActually it was the laws he fought. The rule of law and the Law of Gravity, and lost on both accounts.

This wasn’t my call, so I only know a few, non HIPAA violating details.

Seems that the local gendarmes responded to the apartment of this fine fellow to investigate a disturbance of some sort. Upon knocking on his apartment door, declaring their identity, and demanding entrance the soon to be patient failed to open the door, but rather decided to abscond. These apartments have two entrances as required by the fire code, but both open into the same hallway. So, being the criminal mastermind he no doubt thinks he is, he decided to bail out one of the windows. The only problem being that his apartment is on the third floor and overlooks a concrete courtyard.

The police heard a commotion, followed by silence, followed by pain filled screams as the fleeing felon failed to fly and fell. Apparently he thought he was Rocky the Flying Squirrel, but was built more like Bullwinkle the non flying moose.

Gravity, it’s not just a theory, it’s the law and an immutable one at that.

The officers gained entry, went over to the open window, looked out, and saw their suspect lying on the ground looking like a squirrel that had been hit by a car. Only of course much bigger and with no bushy tail.

Whereupon the officers of the law called for EMS on their radios and ran down stairs to render aid to the failed flyer.

All things considered he’d have been better off to open the door and let the majesty of the man made law deal with him. No matter what the jury decided and the judge sentenced, I rather doubt he’d end up with two broken legs and a fractured pelvis. Because unlike the law of man, the law of gravity gives no reprieves, no suspended sentences, and brooks no appeals. It just smashes the shit out of you when you break it.

Not to mention that when you get to the hospital, some ham fisted intern gets to do his first rectal exam on you, adding insult to injury.

To help him recuperate, here is a musical interlude from the past.


Feel better dude. Just remember that once you’re out of the hospital you STILL get to go to jail.


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After a long career as a field EMS provider, I'm now doing all that back office stuff I used to laugh at. Life is full of ironies, isn't it? I still live in the Northeast corner of the United States, although I hope to change that to another part of the country more in tune with my values and beliefs. I still write about EMS, but I'm adding more and more non EMS subject matter. Thanks for visiting.


  1. I’d just like to point out that the law of gravity is just its description, and the theory of relativity is what explains how it works(it improved on and replaced newtons theory of gravity). The two exist side by side.

    In science it’s never “just a theory”, theory is the highest thing something can aspire to be in science.

    /pet peeve rant.

  2. Perhaps, like Bugs Bunny, he figured the law of Gravity would not apply because he “…never studied law”.

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