Sumdoap Files, International Division


Chinese man mails himself to his girlfriend and nearly suffocates

To celebrate his girlfriend’s birthday, Hu Seng, from Chongqing city, thought it would be a nice surprise if he mailed himself – yes, his physical self – to his girlfriend.

Hilarity ensued when the package sort of “got lost” in the system and the expected delivery time of 30 minutes stretched out to three hours. During which Hu Seng failed to break out of a cardboard box and didn’t want to ruin the “surprise”. She would have been really surprised if she’d opened the box and he was dead.

For some reason this brings to mind the Monty Python Dead Parrot sketch.

As a police officer of mine has said many times, “If it wasn’t for stupid people, we wouldn’t have jobs.”

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After a long career as a field EMS provider, I'm now doing all that back office stuff I used to laugh at. Life is full of ironies, isn't it? I still live in the Northeast corner of the United States, although I hope to change that to another part of the country more in tune with my values and beliefs. I still write about EMS, but I'm adding more and more non EMS subject matter. Thanks for visiting.


  1. Mail Myself To You
    Words and Music by Woody Guthrie

    I’m a-gonna wrap myself in paper,
    I’m gonna daub myself with glue,
    Stick some stamps on top of my head;
    I’m gonna mail myself to you.

    I’m a gonna tie me up in a red string,
    I’m gonna tie blue ribbons too,
    I’m a-gonna climb up in my mail box;
    I’m gonna mail myself to you.

    When you see me in your mail box,
    Cut the string and let me out;
    Wash the glue off my fingers,
    Stick some bubble gum in my mouth.

    Take me out of my wrapping paper,
    Wash the stamps off my head;
    Pour me full of ice cream sodies,
    Put me in my nice warm bed.

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