Prostitution that is. It’s often referred to as the oldest profession. Of course lawyer is the second oldest profession and some people would say that there’s not much difference between the two. But I digress.

Some researchers were researching whether or not monkeys could use and understand money. They wanted to see if monkeys could understand both the concept and practical applications. What they found surprised them.

Here is the article,

How scientists taught monkeys the concept of money. Not long after, the first prostitute monkey appeared

Something else happened then too, tough , in what’s maybe the most evident form of one’s grasp upon currency. The idea is that you can use money as a form of currency to exchange for goods or services, as in not just food. Well, one of the researchers, during the chaos event, observed how one of the monkeys exchanged money to another for sex. After the act was over, the monkey which was paid immediately used it to buy a grape…

There you have it folks, sounds familiar? In almost all aspects, capuchins manage to understand money and use it in a manner not too different from a plain old homo sapiens. The study, titled “How Basic Are Behavioral Biases? Evidence From Capuchin Monkey Trading Behavior”, can be read here.

Oh, and the monkeys also stole the “money” when they thought they could get away with it.

No word on whether any of the monkeys offered to represent one of the monkeys caught stealing in court for a fee.

Keep that in mind the next time someone tells you how civilized humans are.

What it tells me is that the veneer of civilization is pretty thin. Where you are dictates how thin it is and maybe even how long it would take to strip that veneer away.

And no, I don’t think I’m stretching the analogy one bit.

Google’s iPhone Tracking

Google Inc. and other advertising companies have been bypassing the privacy settings of millions of people using Apple Inc.’s Web browser on their iPhones and computers—tracking the Web-browsing habits of people who intended for that kind of monitoring to be blocked.

The companies used special computer code that tricks Apple’s Safari Web-browsing software into letting them monitor many users. Safari, the most widely used browser on mobile devices, is designed to block such tracking by default.

Google disabled its code after being contacted by The Wall Street Journal.

Microsoft: Google bypassed privacy settings in IE, too

A week after Microsoft criticized Google over bypassing user privacy settings on Apple’s Safari, the Softies are admitting publicly that Google did the same with Internet Explorer (IE).

Google has responded by accusing MS of using an outdated security protocol. Which is akin to blaming the victim of the crime for the crime.

“He left the keys in is car, I just HAD to steal it. If he didn’t want his car stolen, he shouldn’t have left the keys in it.

Or maybe,

“If she didn’t want to be raped, she shouldn’t have dressed so provocatively.”

While Microsoft certainly should have been more vigilant, that doesn’t make Google any less culpable. If people don’t want their data track, Google and everyone else should respect that.

Yeah, I know. That will happen when the Flying Monkeys come out of my butt. Hell, they haven’t even started their pre flight yet.

If nothing else, I’m glad I stopped using Google.

Pitchers and Catchers report on February 19th. Baseball is about to begin again.

Missing Teen Found Safe At Mall

Isn’t that the first place you should look for missing teen? The mall, that is.

Police said they found Liberty on the 3rd floor of Providence Place Mall,  walking around with two juvenile boys.

I’ve used that Captain Renault clip too much recently, but this is where it would go.

Authorities said they are questioning all three to see if Liberty was actually  in any danger.

No. Next question?

Liberty’s foster cousin, Kai Cable, said their family was so worried.

Foster cousin? WTF.

When asked if she thought her cousin was actually in any danger, Kai Cable said,  “I don’t know. But if she wasn’t, I think she may need some counseling.”

Or something. Maybe some discipline in her life. But no, that won’t happen.

She added Liberty had run away in the past.

Quelle surprise!

The article doesn’t say, but I wouldn’t be surprised if an ambulance was called so that she could be brought to a hospital “Just to get checked out.”

Paging Michael Moore and PFD Rescue 1…

11 Million Slices: Inside Domino’s Super Bowl Pizza War Room

You are an information technology specialist at Domino’s Pizza, and 30 percent of the 11 million slices of pie your company will sell on Super Bowl Sunday will be ordered online. This is your war room:

When my kids were little, Domino’s was the only pizza joint that delivered. That was it’s big attraction, not the product. We used to joke that it would be better to throw out the pizza and just put the cheese and sauce on the box and eat it.

Only it wasn’t a joke.

Now it seems that most if not all pizza shops will deliver much better pizza at about the same price.

Why anyone would eat Domino’s is beyond me.

I’ll be watching the game from deep within enemy territory. We’ll be ordering pizza from one of the nearby pizza shops and they’ll deliver it. I have no doubt it will be much better than anything I’d get from Domino’s.

My only other Super Bowl comment is that this is the TV network’s dream match up. Two big city TV markets, in two sports rabid areas. The only thing better for the TV network’s will be if the game is as tight as either of the play off games that got the two teams here.

Enjoy the game, but remember it’s only a game.

This post is stickied to the top of the blog for a few days. New posts will be below this one.

My son and lovely wife are going out of town to do some business related to their impending move to the Heart of Dixie. No one else in the family has vacation time, so I’ve volunteered to go down to their current abode and babysit for my Grandson. I’m taking a few vacation days and will be down here until after the Super Bowl on Sunday. Sone and DIL will be back before then, but I’m staying so we can watch the game together.

I think DIL is a bit nervous at having me take care of the little guy. He’s two, mobile, and very verbal. He’s also big for his size. He’s pretty low maintenance except for the diaper thing, but I should be able to handle that. At least I hope so.

I also have charge of the two cats, but they are low maintenance even for cats.

Back to DIL. She wrote at a one page instruction manual with phone numbers for her mother, and aunt, and the pediatrician. Just in case.

It’s actually pretty helpful as it tells me what the little guy likes to eat, when he likes to eat, his napping habits (infrequent) and how to keep him entertained.

And she picked out clothing for me to dress him in. “Because I saw the outfit you picked out for him last summer.” I’m fashion challenged when it comes to kids. Or me for that matter. At least the Fashion Police let me go after a slight period of detention.

I think she’s worried that at my advanced age, this might be too much for me. We’ll see, I guess.

Oh, my son, who is a very talented cook, prepared some meals for us. I’m on my own for a couple of them, but again, I think I can handle that.

I’m going to pin this to the top of the blog until my mission is completed and I RTP on Monday. I’ll updated it stream of unconsciousness style as the mood strikes me.

Daughter in Law just left to meet my son and drive to the airport. I’m all alone with the little guy, who has a crush on Olivia. Watching her keeps him entertained. Along with dumping out all of his toys. And vacuuming. A talent he gets from his other Grand Mother.

Oh, and I get to drop him off at day care tomorrow and Friday so I get a reprieve. Then Saturday, off he goes to Grand Mother house until I retrieve him on Sunday afternoon.

This should be fun.

If you don’t hear from me for a few days, call the NJ State Police and tell them to start looking for me.

8:30 PM update: I wore the little guy out. Too much jumping and running around. Of course he’s two, so he’ll be ready to go tomorrow morning.

Kids have a lot of toys these days. And they all make noise. Most of them have batteries and play music when you touch them. Or look at them too long. The same songs over and over and over. Putting one of these in a cell with a suspected terrorist would have been much more effective than water boarding and without the whole torture debate. Well, I think without the torture debate. At least he doesn’t have a singing Barney doll.

He also likes his wooden trucks and trains that don’t make noise.

I even managed to get a fresh diaper on him. Maybe I should get a job in a skilled nursing facility (three lies in one).

Day Two. Fame is fleeting. After getting the little guy dressed and making him a delicious breakfast of pancakes, it was off to see the nice day care lady. When we got in and he saw his little friends, he promptly forgot who I was. That’s OK, his friend CJ gave me a high five as I headed out the door. Hopefully he’ll remember who I am when I go to pick him up.

Tonight’s adventure will be a bath after he has dinner. That should be interesting.

The bath was easy. He’s a very cooperative little guy and the fact that he speaks well for his age helps. He tells me what the routine is, so I know what to do. Pretty funny.

He finally went to bed about 10:00PM after watching Olivia, Diego, Uma Zuma, Blues Clues, and a couple of other shows who’s names have mercifully escaped my memory. I guess they are pretty entertaining for the toddler set and he seems to learn numbers, shapes, letters, words, etc. from them.

Things are much different than when my kids were little. Cable TV is one big difference, as even though it was around when the kids were small, we didn’t have it. Nor was the selection of kids shows what it is now.

DinerFail: He’s cranky this afternoon as he’s starting to miss Mom and Dad. Squawked when I picked him up from the day care lady. He does that sometimes, but this time it transitioned into “I want to see Mommy” all the way home. We called on Skype, but he wanted the real thing. He finally settled down and decided he wanted pizza, which meant Elio’s frozen pizza. There was one last piece which I cooked to perfection. Then I took it out to cut into pieces. Then the plate slipped on the counter and the whole thing hit the floor. Topping down, of course. Fortunately for me there was a box of Bagel Bites pizza in the freezer. I cooked that up and didn’t drop it on the floor. So, he got his pizza and stopped crying. So, maybe it wasn’t a fail after all.

Bath time in a bit and then wrestling on TV.

Day 3: Breakfast at a diner just up the street, back here to pack him up, and then off to his other Grandmother for an overnight. I’ll pick him up tomorrow afternoon and then the wait Mommy and Daddy. And of course the Super Bowl.

Google’s unofficial motto is “Don’t Be Evil”.

Apparently it’s just a slogan without meaning.

Google to pay $500 million over online drug ads

“While Canada has its own regulatory rules for prescription drugs, Canadian pharmacies that ship prescription drugs to U.S. residents are not subject to Canadian regulatory authority, and many sell drugs obtained from countries other than Canada which lack adequate pharmacy regulations,” the Justice Department said.

Google at one time accepted advertising from overseas online pharmacies but later confined such ads to those from the United States and Canada.

You can argue the propriety of allowing people to buy drugs from Canada that are supposed to be the same as US sold drugs, only cheaper. Of course in some cases the drugs from Canada aren’t really from Canada and some of them might not actually be the drug advertised.

Either way, Google was making money from advertising products that were illegal in the US and they knew it.

This story is from August, so it’s not exactly new. What is new is the story that the FBI built the case against Google using a convicted con man serving time in a federal prison. Set a thief to catch a thief, I guess.

Con Artist Starred in Sting That Cost Google Millions

The full story is subscriber content only, so if you’re not a subscriber you’ll only see part of the story.

So, I guess Google’s motto only applies when money isn’t involved.

$500 Million is a huge amount to most people, but to Google it’s pocket change since they have about $45 Billion in cash reserves.

You would not know that, however, by the way people drove the other night during a brief, light snow fall. There was about 1/2″ of snow on the ground when I headed out for work the other night. This had fallen onto very cold roadways due to the bone chilling cold of the previous two days. None of which is particularly unusual for this part of the country at this time of year.

In addition, it was fairly late at night, so the traffic should have been light because all normal people are in bed and sleeping. Which of course is why I was wide awake and driving to work.

As I drove through the streets of my sleepy little suburb I saw no other vehicles and only a couple of tracks in the snow. Not a surprise at all. The road was a little bit slick, but nothing that a driver who lives up here shouldn’t be able to handle with ease. I expected to be a few minutes later getting to work than I normally was, but I’d still be on time. Or so I thought.

I got to the highway more or less in the same time it normally took me, which was an encouraging sign. It was to be the last encouraging sign I saw until I arrived at work. In the five or so miles to the next highway, I saw three spin outs, including one that happened right in front of me. That one didn’t result in the car leaving the road or any damage, so the driver just continued on his way as if nothing had happened. The others weren’t so lucky and I started to feel sorry for the troopers who would be spending their entire shifts and likely more, writing reports for minor accidents that a little prudence would have prevented.

I continued to drive along cautiously noting the usual mix of drivers. The guy going about 15 MPH in the left lane, the guy in the front wheel drive econobox whizzing by me at 70 on his way to his next accident, the sander wandering aimlessly from lane to lane. Typical.

I was what should have been five minutes from my exit when traffic came to a standstill. Not good at this time of day. I was contemplating the odds of my being able to work my way over to the next exit and making my way to the station on the city streets when some rocket scientist in a four wheel drive SUV came flying up the right hand lane and tried to drive between lanes two and three. At 30 MPH. Into two stopped lanes  of traffic. At least that’s what I think we was trying to do, but I’m not sure. What he actually did was bounce off of three or four stopped cars  and then slid into the guard rail. Not at enough speed to cause any serious damage to the other cars or injuries to the drivers, but it sure was going create a lot of paperwork for his insurance company and the troopers.

No, I didn’t get out to check for injuries. It was way too slick and way too dark to be wandering around on an interstate highway without lots of pretty blinky lights and emergency vehicles. People were already pulling their damaged cars to the side of the road and reaching for their cell phones, so I continued on my way.

I managed to get off the highway and onto the less slippery local roads. Where the driving was far more rational for some reason. Not rational, just more rational. Again I ran into the typical mix of cars with bald tires trying to drive up hills, people who couldn’t be bothered to fill their windshield washer tanks so had crap covered windows, people going too slow or too fast, and people who didn’t seem to realize that brushing the snow from their windshields would help their visibility. Not to mention the people walking in the street because apparently they missed the memo about wearing boots instead of sneakers or sandals in the snow.

I eventually made it to work, a few minutes late and filled with utter amazement at how a little bit of snow causes some people to lose what little driving ability they actually have.