Home Everything Else It Really <em>Is</em> The Oldest Profession

It Really Is The Oldest Profession


Prostitution that is. It’s often referred to as the oldest profession. Of course lawyer is the second oldest profession and some people would say that there’s not much difference between the two. But I digress.

Some researchers were researching whether or not monkeys could use and understand money. They wanted to see if monkeys could understand both the concept and practical applications. What they found surprised them.

Here is the article,

How scientists taught monkeys the concept of money. Not long after, the first prostitute monkey appeared

Something else happened then too, tough , in what’s maybe the most evident form of one’s grasp upon currency. The idea is that you can use money as a form of currency to exchange for goods or services, as in not just food. Well, one of the researchers, during the chaos event, observed how one of the monkeys exchanged money to another for sex. After the act was over, the monkey which was paid immediately used it to buy a grape…

There you have it folks, sounds familiar? In almost all aspects, capuchins manage to understand money and use it in a manner not too different from a plain old homo sapiens. The study, titled “How Basic Are Behavioral Biases? Evidence From Capuchin Monkey Trading Behavior”, can be read here.

Oh, and the monkeys also stole the “money” when they thought they could get away with it.

No word on whether any of the monkeys offered to represent one of the monkeys caught stealing in court for a fee.

Keep that in mind the next time someone tells you how civilized humans are.

What it tells me is that the veneer of civilization is pretty thin. Where you are dictates how thin it is and maybe even how long it would take to strip that veneer away.

And no, I don’t think I’m stretching the analogy one bit.

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After a long career as a field EMS provider, I'm now doing all that back office stuff I used to laugh at. Life is full of ironies, isn't it? I still live in the Northeast corner of the United States, although I hope to change that to another part of the country more in tune with my values and beliefs. I still write about EMS, but I'm adding more and more non EMS subject matter. Thanks for visiting.


  1. You sir/madam, are a complete idiot to be entirely honest. I’m both a lawyer and a senior paramedic and I must say, what a joke your ‘article’ is. I see your attempt at evoking a laugh from the reader, really I do, but seriously Epic fail! Perhaps you’re better suited to reading an ECG printout than being a ‘writer.’ 🙂

    Your sincerely,
    A person who dislike idiots.

    • Touchy aren’t we?

      Reminds me of a lawyer joke.

      These two lawyers are on vacation in Florida. They are lying on the beach sunning themselves, when a beautiful girl in a string bikini walks by.

      One lawyer turns to the other and says, “What a beautiful girl, I’d love to screw her.”
      The second lawyer says, “Out of what?”

      I’m here all week folks.

      Try the veal.

  2. Funny guy, here’s one for you;

    An electric train is traveling northwest at 95 miles per hour, and the wind is blowing southwest at 95 miles per hour. In which direction does the smoke blow?

      • Shows your level of education when you can’t read a question properly, doesn’t it?

        I said “electric train,” since when have electric trains produced smoke? Hahaha you absolute numpty, mate, seriously, go back to pumping up the hydraulic stretchers! 😉

  3. Bingo! It’s not that the monkeys are acting like humans. It’s really humans just being monkeys who can put words to the experience of whoredom!

    In this, I think we might agree. We are humans who have tried to forget we’re animals and animals that haven’t quite figured out we’re humans. WE’RE the ones who think we’re unique; animals aren’t all that impressed, with the exception of dogs maybe, but that’s a hunger thing.

    I was driving in heavy traffic the other day and it dawned on me everybody behind the wheel of a car was having the exact same experience, with the exception of one thing; their thoughts!

    You’re actually kinda interesting when you decide to go deep!

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